Tuesday, January 31, 2006

What the Puck? Part 1

I scored last night.

No, not that sort of goal-mouth action. After all, I’m married with two kids. And it was a Monday.

I mean to say that last night I played my first ever game of ice hockey, and, against considerable odds, managed to fire three pucks into the back of the net! Ok, so one of them was into my own net, but hey, it’s still a goal in my book.

When a group of dads from Dagis (nursery) recently suggested getting together for a regular Monday night ice hockey game, I thought why not. After all, there must be three or four outdoor ice rinks within a 500m radius of my house. Seemed a pity to waste them.

First order of the day was to buy some equipment, so I visited the city’s second-hand sports store and splashed out a couple of hundred kronor on some Jofa hockey skates, a rather fetching Jofa helmet (from 1974) and a Koho Profeel hockey club. Is it just me, or are all ice hockey equipment manufacturers named after characters in the Star Wars films?

After that, I did what I always do when I’m unsure about any subject – I Googled ice hockey. Now you may think learning to skate by internet is about as useful as a lonely one-legged man applying for a distance course in ballroom dancing - but you’d be wrong.

I discovered a wealth of really helpful information out there.

For example, if you want to skate backwards, you should “practise sculling with both feet to sculling with one at a time. This may lead more naturally to the Hockey wide-track "C-cut" backward stride, where you roll/slide the foot back instead of picking it up, but that's more for quick manoeuvring, not speed/distance skating”.

Uh-huh. Alrighty then.

And what about this well-intentioned piece of advice….

Because of your momentum, falling down on ice isn’t always painful, as your forward motion will mean you often land at an angle and glide to a halt.”

After last night I can categorically state this is a load of bollocks. Falling down on ice is always painful. Ice is frozen water. Frozen solid that it. It’s the reason we don’t make beds out of ice, or that gymnasts don’t perform their floor routines on the stuff.

Next post: in Part 2 I take to the ice with six really large Swedish guys who hurl themselves at me with great speed on very thin, sharp bits of metal.


At 6:47 pm, Anonymous Sofia said...

"Now you may think learning to skate by internet is about as useful as a lonely one-legged man applying for a distance course in ballroom dancing." Hahahaha! I just can't get that image off my mind... Good luck with the hockeygames!

At 6:53 pm, Blogger Darren said...


I sometimes worry myself how my mind visualises things.

I think there are pills for this sort of thing..

Thanks for your comments - glad you're laughing!!



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